Friend or Phantom
by Thinole T
Summary: In the midst of her desperation on the cemetery Christine hears a voice calling her home... the voice she has longed to hear again ever since she had so cruelly turned away from her angel. Now finally he is there once more to take her home and this time she is only too willing to follow wherever he leads her. ( Erik x Christine - Eristine )
1. On the cemetery

**On the cemetery**

Weak and trembling of the cold I stumbled through the snow. I should have listened to the other artists and not have gone out to my father's grave in that storm but I wouldn't turn back now that I had almost reached the cemetery. It would take me another two hours to get back home and I did not know how I was going to survive that, frozen and tired as I was, but now finally I had reached Gustave Daaé's grave, fell to my knees in the snow and prayed and cried for my beloved father. I missed him with every part of my being and he had torn his music from my life when he had left me forever. His music - I had only felt it again in the times my angel of music had appeared. He had filled my heart and soul with unearthly music and lifted my spirits to highest happiness... and passion. I really had loved him - he had done so much for me, lifted me from the depths I had fallen into after my father's death, and my heartbeat had increased significantly whenever I had sensed his invisible presence. I had only felt alive when his extraordinary tenor voice had comforted or taught me. How heartbroken had I been when I had realised that he was nothing but a physically and emotionally scarred man who scared me with his hardly controlled anger. Also, I had feared his face because I made this discovery so unexpectedly... now that I had had time to think about what I had seen, I realised what horrors this burden must have held for him. But it was not only pity that I felt for him, there was so much more inside me now... I was thankful for him having been there comforting me when I had been all alone and I could not deny that I had fallen for that beautiful - and powerful - voice. I needed it like I needed the air for breathing. But as the stupid and scared child I was, I had run away and betrayed him. I had told Raoul everything about my angel - good, kind Raoul... I did not love him. He had just been there being good and gentle in my most desperate hour and in my fear I had willingly ran into his arms and promises of a better future. By now I had realised that he was chasing after a meaningless childhood romance that wouldn't do any of us any good. I had never felt for him the intense way I felt drawn towards another man - my angel, Erik. I broke down at the grave, my tears falling to the ground freely. I could feel the cold and wet snow creeping through my coat and my dress to my skin and shivers ran all over my body but I did not care anymore. My life was forlorn - I did not feel for the wealthy man whose ring I wore, I had unhealthy feelings for a madman who had murdered in my name and had no moral whatsoever... Furthermore, he probably hated me by now. He had seen me with Raoul, he knew all about my complete and utter betrayal, he knew of the plan I had agreed to - the plan to kill him. I couldn't do that. How could I betray a man who meant so much to me? But how could I admit that? Was there any right thing for me to do?

In the middle of my despondency I heard a voice. An extraordinary voice singing softly in my head and soothing my desperation. I slowly lifted my head and looked up, not surprised that I couldn't see anyone, for that voice could not possibly belong to a human being. It was indeed an angel's voice. For a moment, I wondered whether I had died now, frozen at the place my father rested but then a dark cloaked shape appeared at my side and the comforting music stopped. 'Christine' Erik said with his incomparable voice, way more gentle than I would have expected it. So maybe he did not hate me after all. I felt empty - the only thing tying me to the world seemed to be the tall figure beside me. I looked up towards him and as the wind stoked my face, I felt the trails of my tears ice cold on my cheeks.

For a few seconds, we just stared at each other, I could not see his face obviously but I knew that he was examining me. Then, slowly and deliberately, he extended his glowed hand in my direction. Slowly and trembling, I reached out and laid my hand, blue from the cold, into his. The moment we touched, he seized my hand and cupped it with his while carefully pulling me to my feet.

'You're frozen, my dear!' he exclaimed and I could hear the concern in his voice. I had no strength left to answer. I felt my tears starting to flow again and my whole body was shaking. How could he be so nice and gentle to me now? I had betrayed him... Again! 'Christine!' there definitely was fear in his tone now, my slow-working brain tried to figure out, why, but in the next moment, Erik pulled me towards him and enveloped me in a warm embrace. I hadn't been aware of how cold I actually was until I felt the comforting warmth of my angel's body. Here in his arms I felt safe and secure. I knew that nothing was ever going to hurt me as long as he was by my side. How I had longed to be close to him... A small sigh escaped my lips, then my knees gave away and everything went black.


	2. I remember

I awoke in a strangely familiar bed, wrapped in warm blankets. I felt well rested and comfortable, but my memory told me, that something had happened... I opened my eyes and found myself in my room in Erik's house under the Opera. 'Christine, my dear, how do you feel?' Erik asked as he entered the room, a tray with tea in his hands. I tried to sit up and my circulation collapsed, but Erik rushed to my side, put down the tray and supported me with an arm around my back. At his touch, the memory came back - I had been on the cemetery... I had been cold... He had saved me. I looked up at him. 'Erik...' I whispered. 'Shh, don't talk, my dear, you have a bad cold! It really was irresponsible of you to go out there all alone in that weather.' he handed me the warm tea and stroked my cheek. 'If I hadn't come for you... Well, you probably would have frozen to death.' He turned away from me and I knew that he was in pain at that thought.

'Erik... I- thank you!' I whispered, unsure of what to say to him, 'You saved me.'

He turned back to me at my words. 'I would do anything for you, Christine, anything!' He declared passionately.

'But I- I betrayed you' my words came out barely audible, but Erik heard them anyway.

'My dear, you're not thinking straight. It was the Vicomte, not you, who came up with that genius plan' his sharp voice was filled with sarcasm and I flinched. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. You don't have to be afraid of me, I promise. Jag vill inte skåda dig*.' Stunned by him talking to me in my mother tongue, I nodded. 'Take the tea' he whispered with a voice so soft and unearthly, it could only be an angel's. I took the cup from him and he turned to leave, but in sudden fear of being alone, I grabbed his fleece. 'Please... Don't go' I whispered and, surprised that I had touched him out of my own account, he obeyed and sat down on the edge of my bed. When I had finished the tea, I thanked him and, realising that I was still holding his cloak in my hand, I let go of it quickly, feeling my cheeks get warm with embarrassment. 'Could you...' I asked shyly, 'Could you help me get up, please?' I wasn't sure, but I think Erik smiled as he stood up, placed an arm around my waist and helped me out of the bed. I realised that he had taken off my wet and cold coat and dress but I was still wearing my under dress. Now, out of the cosy bed, I immediately felt the cold, lightly dressed as I was. Erik must have noticed, for he let go of me and took off his black coat to carefully place it around my shoulders. I highly appreciated that gesture and wanted to thank him, but the moment I opened my mouth, he gently placed a finger on my lips. 'No more talking for you, my dear' he instructed, 'I want you to rest your voice.' Why was he treating me so friendly, almost tenderly? Had he always been like that? Had I just not realised it? My eyes flickered to his, something I usually didn't dare, but now they were looking down at me with so much affection... Was it true after all? Was he in love with not just my voice, but with me? Together we walked into the kitchen and prepared some baguettes. We ate in silence, each one deep in their own thoughts. 'Christine...' Erik suddenly said and I looked up at him. 'I just want you to know that I will not have you with me against your will. As soon as you're recovered, I will return you to the upper world and you will never have to see me again if that's what you wish.' I didn't hesitate for a second. My wish to set this right was stronger than the fear of disobeying his direct order. 'Please don't make me leave you' I whispered. He just looked at me remotely. Had I said something wrong? Did he not want me to stay here? But why was he being so affectionate then? He was confusing me so much! Couldn't he just tell me what he wanted? My heart did not know whether to fear him, care for him or just stop beating and put an end to the whole affair. This waiting was driving me insane and even though I wasn't looking at him I felt his gaze upon me. Eventually, he began hesitantly 'Are you sure that's what you want, Christine? Give me a second chance?' He slowly - very slowly - reached out to me over the table with one hand. It lingered in mid-air and as I hesitated, he said 'Because if you do, I promise to be everything you want me to be and try to not do anything you don't want me to. Christine... I'd do anything for you.' I took a deep breath, feeling that I was taking a big step into this, and laid my hand in his. Nervously, I searched his eyes and seeing such a happy smile spread across his face made me feel warm inside. This was where I was meant to be. 'Thank you' Erik whispered.

*Swedish: "I don't want to hurt you"


	3. Singing lessons

In the following two days, I didn't speak a word, following Erik's instructions in order to protect my voice. Whenever necessary, I communicated with him through signs or writing and he was so caring and gentle with me, that I completely forgot how much his uncontrolled rage and his ice-cold anger had scared me before. In all the time, he never even touched me without my direct permission. On the fourth day that I was back with him, Erik allowed me to speak and he seemed to be pleased with my voice; at the breakfast table, he asked if I'd like to get some more singing lessons in the afternoon. 'To what price?' I asked guardedly. 'Christine, nothing here holds a price for you, I promise!' He answered sincerely and I wanted to believe him, I wanted to believe that beautiful voice anything. If he told me the earth was flat, I probably wouldn't even question it. Yet I shyly remarked: 'You have given me lessons before - in exchange for my soul' recalling the time he had been nothing but the distant angel of music to me.

'I am sorry for having demanded your complete obedience then, I considered it necessary in order to keep you with me...' after a short break he added '... And away from that Vicomte'. I nodded to show that I understood. Then I continued eating until I noticed, that he was still staring at me. My gaze flickered up to his eyes that clearly lay on me and I suddenly realised that I hadn't answered his question. 'Yes' I whispered shyly, 'I'd like to sing with you later.'

We spent the next few hours reading in silence in front of the fire. At first, I couldn't quite concentrate on the book I had found on Erik's shelf - he had told me that I could use whatever I wanted in his home - I caught myself just staring at Erik wondering if I simply hadn't seen his good-natured side before or if he really had changed since I'd been here the last time. Under the circumstances I was currently living here, I didn't ever want to leave. I felt... I felt at home here, as unbelievable as it might seem. I had not lived in a familiar house with a caring and - yes - loving person since my father had died. If only I could sort out my feelings for Erik... There used to be nothing but compassion, but now I wasn't so sure anymore... As Erik's eyes suddenly met mine, I hastily lowered my gaze to the book in my lap and the heat shot into my cheeks. I was sure that Erik knew I was thinking about him, but I didn't look up again to see his amused smile. Instead, I finally began reading the beautiful tale I had chosen.

In the late afternoon, after we had had tea together, Erik sat down at his piano and I warmed up my voice with some easy exercises he had shown me earlier. 'What would you like to sing, Christine?' Erik asked gently. 'I- I don't know... Whatever you like' I answered shyly. Usually he chose the piece of music. Erik lifted an eyebrow at me. 'A duet would be nice' I added after a moment and smiled, just a little. I was sure that he knew exactly how divinely our voices combined. 'I agree, my dear. How about the final duet from Aida?' As I nodded eagerly, he played me a little harmony and then got up from the piano so that I now had to look up at him. 'We shall sing it without accompaniment' he explained and I hefted my eyes on his long hands that were already conducting with elegant movements. I understood every gesture of my master's hands and so I soon felt our voices combine in ecstasy on top volume. I knew that we both felt this connection music created between us - after Aida we sang two more duets a Capella, only guided by his conducting hands and finally he asked if I'd like to sing one of his pieces. Breathlessly and entranced by the sheer perfection of his voice, I nodded and so he handed me a music sheet filled with his slightly clumsy hand writing. I quickly read through it, then Erik sat down at the piano once more, gave me a sign with his hand and started playing. It was an extraordinarily beautiful aria he had written and he seemed to really enjoy hearing me sing it. His music carried me on soft wings into a wonderful world of his imagination and I could hardly believe that a human had created this magical masterpiece. When I had finished, and lifted my hand to my throat in surprise, Erik turned to me and his hands gestures for me to come closer to him. I was so used to obeying these elegant and skilled hands that I didn't even question his wordless command. I was standing right in front of Erik when he moved on the piano bench to make space for me. A bit shyly and hesitantly I sat down next to my mentor, carefully paying heed to not touching him. 'You must be tired, my angel' Erik said gently, 'You sang heavenly this evening. I don't think that you are aware of the pleasure your voice is to me. You could shine on any stage of the world now.' This praise was too much for me. Erik hardly ever praised me, he claimed that praise intoxicated the soul with vanity, but now the only thing I felt was trembling gladness of having met the high expectations of my master. I looked up at him at my side and as he softly smiled at me, I suddenly dared to move a little closer to him and lean against his shoulder. He had carried me here some nights ago, hadn't he? So I should be allowed to touch him like that now without making him feel uncomfortable, right? For a moment, Erik stiffened and I thought about pulling away and getting up, but then, slowly and cautiously, as not to scare me, my angel put an arm around my back and rested his hand on my waist. The strange thing about that unfamiliar touch we shared was, that I was not the slightest bit scared. On the contrary, I actually enjoyed his gentle embrace. All I was thinking about in that moment was how safe and snug I felt... Here in his arms.


	4. The upper world

Erik brought me back up to the opera the next day. In the morning he told me, that he had been up there while I was sleeping and that the managers had thought about calling the police - I'd have to tell them that I would work as their soprano under the condition that I'd spend all my free time on my own in my private room.  
'You left me alone here?' I asked with unease. 'I am sorry, Christine. I know you don't like being alone here but I didn't see a better way than going at night'  
On the previous evening, he had awkwardly broken the embrace we had shared on the piano bench. Then, we had eaten a late meal and he had sent me to bed - he had seemed mentally absent, as if he had been thinking about something else, so I just obeyed and went to my room. Now he asked permission to take my hand and when I nodded, the smooth leather of his black glove enfolded my hand. He slowly lead me through the twisted pitch black corridors. I think he knew that I was still very much afraid of this dark labyrinth, so he guided me until we finally reached my room. There, he opened the mirror and I reluctantly let go of his hand and entered. When I turned back at him just a second later, the mirror had been closed and all I could see was my reflection. Absently, I laid my hand on the cold glass. Was Erik already gone? Or was he watching me? The mirror didn't tell me anything about it.  
I hastily broke away from the mirror and stepped towards the Chaiselongue when I heard someone bang on my door. 'Christine!' Raoul's angry voice shouted. 'Yes?' I hesitantly called back, unsure of how to meet him now. He stormed into the room and stopped right in front of me. 'Where have you been, Lotte? I've been worried sick!' He took my hand and as he pulled me closer to himself, I could smell alcohol in his breath.  
'Raoul, have you been drinking?' I asked with concern.  
'I know I shouldn't, but what could I do? I thought that monster had gotten you again! Are you ok?' He replied.  
'Raoul, please...' I stepped away from him because I couldn't stand the smell of brandy.  
'I swear, if the beast has harmed you, I'll kill him!' Raoul exclaimed angrily.  
I shushed him: 'Don't talk like that! He would not... On the contrary, I like him! He made me feel like nothing I had ever felt before. Not bad, just... Different' I whispered, now hoping that Erik was not listening anymore. I knew that he'd be amused by my statement.  
'So, has he' Raoul grumbled, now seeming even more angry, 'Come, I should bring you to rehearsal' and with that he ushered me out of the room. We walked in silence and shortly before we reached the stage, a group of men, probably Raoul's friends, came towards us and one of them enthusiastically asked: 'Hey, Raoul, how are you doing?' Raoul made a sign for me to walk the rest of the way on my own and stopped to talk with them. As I walked on, I heard his response behind my back.  
'Couldn't be better. I ran out of brandy and my fiancée got seduced and raped by a madman' he snapped sarcastically. I pretended to not having heard anything. I didn't exactly know what rape was, but I was confident that Erik wouldn't do it to me. The men laughed. 'Come on, old friend, we'll get some more brandy and everything will look better!'  
Then I shut a door behind me and didn't hear any more. I had completely forgotten that I was engaged to Raoul... Was that what I wanted? Did I want to marry Raoul?  
I got through rehearsal without really paying attention to what I was doing, but nobody complained. Later, the ballet girls asked me if I'd like to join them in the small café in West-Paris for the evening and I agreed, grabbed my coat and followed them.


	5. Drunk

Talking and laughing with the ensemble girls did me good. I really enjoyed having fun with them again, but later in the evening I got tired and all of the company just got too much for me, so I left earlier.  
It was already dark outside when I hurried back to the opera house through deserted streets. I somehow didn't like the thought of sleeping in my dressing room at the opera all alone tonight, even though I had been doing this my entire life. 'What do you think you can do about it? Ask Erik if he'll take you to his house?' I scolded myself. No, I really shouldn't overuse his hospitality, it was so nice of him to let me stay with him sometimes and I really appreciated that, but I didn't want to annoy him. Additionally, I didn't even know how to get to his home and I surely was not going to call for him in the hope that he'd pick me up. I sighed. So I'd be sleeping in my room on my own after all.  
When I was only two blocks away from the opera, Raoul and his friends suddenly stumbled out of a bar right in front of me. I immediately noticed that all of them had been drinking way too much. 'Chrissine! What do you think you're doing here in the middle of the night?' Raoul asked when he spotted me. I had difficulties understanding him, drunk as he was.  
'I am an adult woman and I can do whatever I want.' I tried to walk past him, but Raoul grabbed my arm. 'You are my fiancée and you cannot go and get intimate with a monster as long as I can prevent it' he hissed and as I tried to get free from his grasp, he shoved me against his body, holding a firm grip on my back.  
'I didn't...' I started to defend myself, but Raoul interrupted: 'Should I do it like HIM?' He asked with a snarl, 'You like it to be taken by force, don't you?' And with that he started to fumble with the strings of my dress. The other men laughed. When Raoul realised that he was unable to undo my dress with his clumsy fingers and his intoxicated brain, he pulled out a knife from somewhere and attempted to cut it open, but I pushed him away because I did not trust him when he was drunk and held a knife.  
I tried to run, but two of Raoul's grinning friends held me back and one of them forced my arms behind my back while the other one pulled the skirt of my dress upwards so that most of my legs were covered by nothing but my stockings. Suddenly, one of the men grabbed my leg and I screamed and kicked him. I fought hard to get free, but the men were simply stronger. 'Don't hurt her!' Raoul ordered but they either didn't care or simply didn't notice that their hard hands were already bringing tears to my eyes. Just when I wanted to protest but got silenced by a hand pressing on my mouth, a shadow appeared above me and somehow made the men let go of me.


End file.
